When A Democrat Lies, A Kitten Dies

A female cat, her mate, and all of her offspring, producing 2 litters per year, with a survival rate of 2.8 kittens per litter, can produce over 65 million cats in ten years. Since there are millions of fertile pussies out there, why aren’t we up to our hats in cats?

I stumbled upon the answer to this question when subscribers to Fark.com linked to my “Clinton Lied, People Died” article. On Fark.com they had already established a link between an act that has nothing to do with cats, and the death of kittens. (To solve the mystery, go to Fark.com, and scroll down about seven bullets to "Killing Kittens.")



Suddenly it was obvious to me why the uncontrollable feral cat population was under control. What is the most frequent act known to mankind? Wrong, and get your mind out of the gutter!

It’s Democratic leaders telling lies. When did we really start to get cat overpopulation under control? During the Clinton administration! Starting with “Hillarycare,” and really picking up momentum with Monica, the feral cat population began a precipitous decline. When Al Gore campaigned, followed by John Kerry, and then Kerry started talking about his Viet Nam experiences – “I remember Christmas of 1968 sitting on a gunboat in Cambodia. I remember what it was like to be shot at by Vietnamese and Khmer Rouge and Cambodians, and have the president of the United States telling the American people that I was not there; the troops were not in Cambodia. I have that memory which is seared -- seared -- in me.“ – feral cats became candidates for the Endangered Species List.

With Howard Dean leading the Democratic Party, and Nancy Pelosi trying to portray Democrats as effective and caring about national security, I’m afraid wild pussies are doomed.

I’ll really miss their lovemaking screeches in the night, sounding like Hillary Clinton talking about tax cuts.