I’ll Miss Hillary

I hate to see Hillary beaten for the Democrat nomination. I already knew Democrats in this area were unenthusiastic about her – “Any Democrat but Hillary” pretty much sums up Democrats’ desires in Northern California – but I was happy to believe what the mainstream media were telling us, that Hillary’s nomination was inevitable and the primaries just formalities.

Hillary was all I hoped for in a Democrat candidate, and as her husband Bill said – “she can’t be taller, younger, male…” – she lacked many qualities that could have made her a viable candidate.

I’ll miss Bill, too, egotistically and constantly reminding everyone that Hillary wasn’t him, and never could be.

I’ll miss indulging my guilty pleasure, the Hillary Scandals Reruns. While Bill was president, whiling away his time and energies diddling each delightful Democrat demoiselle he encountered, Hillary was giving new life to the anti-socialist medicine movement while masterminding palace intrigues like rifling FBI files of prominent Republicans, firing the White House Travel Office employees to make way for her cronies, and sequestering her Rose Law Firm billing records in her library to duck subpoenas.

Without the Janet Reno Justice Department giving cover, maybe this time around she would have had to explain her fabulous success in trading cattle futures.

What I’m looking forward to is everyone going “Obama bananas” until they realize that everything Hillary and John Edwards are saying about him is true.

Obama’s current support appears to be more “dynasty fatigue” than fervent belief in his principles and programs. Obama is trying to cast himself as the “man with Hope,” but I think another Democrat owns the “Hope” logo.

Once everyone learned that the White House with Hillary running the show wouldn’t be a continuation of the “Bill Clinton Vanities,” they dumped Hillary faster than Bill Clinton could find willing female companionship.

However, lest I regret too much the loss of Democrat dramatic possibilities, methinks I hear the whoosh of hot air, and a gargantuan shadow filling the room.

“Is it a Pepsi Cola Slice Blimp? A hot-air balloon? A gargantuan gas bag?”

“It’s all those, and more, it’s Al Gore!”

“We’re saved!”

At this point I know my wish came true.

I was poised to ask the Democrats to send it the clowns.

Don’t bother, they’re here.