Monday, May 29, 2006

California School Exit Exam Not Needed

Just in time for graduations, my buddy Sam way down south in Garden Grove reminds me that Bill Clinton signed the Americans With No Abilities Act during his last term. He did it as a special favor to Monica, who got down on her knees and thanked him.

Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act, The Onion, June 24, 1998, Issue 33-24.

“WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.

The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.”

Nowhere is this act more important than in California, where in many school districts a quarter or more of the Seniors (12th Graders), who have otherwise passed requirements for graduation, cannot pass the state exit exam that is set to measure English achievement at the 10th grade level, and math and algebra at an 8th grade level.

At the moment, there are 47,000 students, roughly 10 percent of California Seniors, who have not passed the exit exam. Arturo Gonzalez, a lawyer for the students, said that he would seek an injunction immediately since it was un-American that students should be expected to know anything to get their diplomas.

It is well known in liberal and academic circles that formerly, racist and elitist employers required proof of educational achievement as a condition before hiring.

Mr. Gonzalez should be reminded that, thanks to the Americans With No Abilities Act, no one cares anymore.

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